It got me thinking, how will I turn out to be say like, 5 years later?
And, how will my friends turn out to be? Will we still be keeping contact after so many years, after the long distance and all?
Looking back, I realized so much has changed. Secondary school is like history now to me. Even college life, seems so far away from me.
To begin with, my secondary school life was a dark + miserable one. I was antisocial for like 3 years while studying in Kelantan. During those years, my obsession had been on computers. Neopets, creating websites, online chatting, etc. I indulged myself in the cyber world right after coming back from school. My gramma would nag until she was tired of nagging at me. In school, I would prefer to hide myself alone, even during recess. Especially the time when I sensed that my good friend, Chiu Mei was somehow 'snatched' by another friend, I isolated myself, hiding in the library,etc, waiting for time to pass by. Thank God Tricia has always been there for me. =) Our chats in MSN since standard 6 have never failed to lighten up my day.
Fortunately for me, I met Shan, Jing, Pei Ling they all in form 3, when I experienced the genuine sincere and concern from friends. Since then, my life was never the same. I became talkative. It's like, a gaping hole inside me was filled. Even though we quarreled like nobody else, being dramatic in our quarrels and all, looking back, we would laugh at our childishness. When one of us was in bad mood, the whole group would follow suit and tried solving the problem either by confrontation or writing letters to each other. I remembered when I was angry at them for whatever reason, I would give them the cool treatment and talk and laugh with the other friends. Then they would immediately confront me and scolded me for being like that. Jing would say, 'When you have problem, you would look for them, how do you expect us to solve your problem like that?' Then I would either feel guilty or fought back and tell my problem. I told them before, whenever I get angry/upset, my hands would shake. That's why I can't confront my problems. My emotions would get all messed up. That's why I prefer to keep them in my heart. I think, now is still the same. I would rather solve problems myself or keep them in my heart, try to forget about and all.
Well I miss those days. I know things changed. I know friends are seasonal.
I know friends forever is like, so difficult. I mean, how often do you meet old adults who are best friends for 40+ years?
But, let's at least give it a try, ok?
To those friends who made a big impact in my life and helped me grow from an immature girl to a slightly more mature lady(you know who you are), I really appreciate you all.
Thank YOU, for appearing in my life!
Labels: friends