I should NOT find significance in what I do, but to find significance in my relationship with God.
I realised although I knew this long time ago, I need to be reminded. Without God, I wouldn't have become the person I am today. I'm not smart. I'm not talented. I'm not kind. I'm not generous. I'm not understanding. And the list goes on and on. Really.
Throughout these years, I've been changing. Everyone changes, I recognize that. I was the girl who had so low self esteem and daren't talked to people I didn't really know. I didn't have the confidence. I was selfish. I had bad temper. But only after the church camp in Form 1 when I encountered God it's only when my life started changing, gradually. He brought me friends into my life, and through them I felt blessed, I felt loved. That's why until now friends are very important in my life. He taught me faithfulness, loyalty. He taught me understanding. He made me the person I am today. And I'm still growing, I'm still changing, to be the person He wants me to be.
To cut things short, I began to take pride in what I do. By taking pride in what I do I don't mean by being proud; I mean building my self esteem, my confidence in what I can do. And I tell you, this is SO WRONG. I'm not giving God all the glory. After all He has done in my life, I thought it's partially, if not all, MY EFFORT, MY ABILITIES. To tell you the truth, I am NOTHING without God. Without Him, my life is meaningless. I could strive really hard, to achieve what I want to achieve. I could tell myself that as long as I have the determination, the diligence, I could succeed. But ALL THESE are like chasing the wind. In the end after I found my success, after I made a lot of money, I would want MORE. I would found out eventually that my life is meaningless without my Creator. I mean, let's say you're an inventor who invent a new invention here and only you know what its purpose. The new invention could try very hard on its own to find its purpose, but without its inventor it has totally NO IDEA what is its PURPOSE. Same goes for us. In order to live a meaningful life, we need Him to lead us.
So who am I to take significance in what I do? My confidence stems from Him alone, from the relationship I have in Him. God has blessed me with lotsa things. And to Him be the glory. I pray that in whatever I do now, I do as to honor Him.
Labels: thoughts